Dead Things Are Gross

I was listening to the audiobook "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris. At one point, he was talking about a time in his life when he became obsessed with death. He worked in a lab that did autopsies. He made it sound fun and exhausting and insane.

Just in passing, Sedaris mentioned a medical text book called "Medicolegal Investigations of Death". In it, he saw a picture of a homeless man's corpse covered with fungus. He tried to write a poem about it.

I immediately stopped the audiobook, and wrote down the title of this book. "Medicolegal Investigations of Death". Sounds groovy.

Later, at a computer, I looked the book up on various websites. The latest (3rd) edition of the book, brand new, cost US$277. No. No, I simply can't buy that.

"Known as the bible of forensic pathology" Amazon promised me. Damn you.

So I checked the online used bookstores. There was a 2nd edition copy of the book available for US$170.

No, I said. No way. Not a chance. Not in a million years.

Two days later, I ordered the book.

(Today, to write up these comments, I searched Amazon and Chapters -- the fourth edition is out. And it's selling for US$102. Goddamn it. When did that happen?)

* * *

Things I Have Learned From Reading Most of the First Chapter of "Medicolegal Investigations of Death" (2nd Edition)

Rigor mortis isn't useful in determining time of death, as there is a lot of variation with onset and departure. In fact, rate of decomposition itself isn't always a useful way of learning anything.

(A gruesome picture demonstrates this -- a man and a woman were murdered at roughly the same time by "a mentally deranged son". Mom was murdered in the cool basement and Dad was murdered in the warm attic. His body is bloated and purple, while she looks very ordinary.)

Rigor mortis is caused by lactic acid and other chemicals building up in the muscles. That's what makes the musculature go rigid. Old people, young children, and invalids often don't have a lot of muscle fibre, so rigor may be weaker in their cases.

Warmer temperatures cause rigor to occur faster. A colder temperature (eg. refrigeration) delays it from happening. Seizures, strenuous activity, or a high fever just prior to death can cause lactic acid to build up in the muscles, and thus cause rigor to occur sooner.

Rigor mortis will disappear as soon as nine to twelve hours in extremely hot temperatures.

Typically, rigor is noted for investigation purposes because it might be a sign that a body has been moved. For example, say I murder someone and leave him sitting in an office chair for a few hours. Then I dump the body on a street corner. His body would have rigor indicating that he'd been in a sitting position.

* * *

Obese bodies decompose faster.

I can't decide if this is good news or bad news.

* * *

After you die, your digestive juices start working on your own body. In other words, once dead you start to digest yourself.

* * *

Livor mortis is how your blood pools after death, going in the direction of gravity. So, if you're lying flat on your face, your blood will pool in your face -- except those places where your face is pushed hard against the floor. Those pushed parts have compressed the capillaries and the skin will appear white. The rest of your face will be purple.

(There is a gruesome picture in the book to demonstrate this. A man's face is purple and bloated, except for a large white patch running from his forehead, down the side of his nose, to his chin. Well, I assume his face is purple. All the photos are black and white.)

This pooling of the blood is also known as "lividity". Fixed lividity occurs when the blood pools and becomes trapped in place. It's trapped because of the gelling of the blood and the constriction of fat.

* * *

"Drying of the scrotal skin is sometimes mistaken for bruising."

(There is a gruesome picture of a penis, with purple balls. But in order for us to get a better look, some tweezers are pulling on the "scrotal skin".)

* * *

It was around this point that I felt queasy and gross and decided to put the book to one side. Much to my surprise, I am no longer immune to the effects of grossness. I have aged, and become sensitive to such matters.

Still, I'm thinking about painting a portrait of a dead man's face, described as follows:

"Postmortem destruction by rats, followed by mummification. The body was found resting in a relatively dry place in winter too cold for blowfly activity. Death occurred about fives weeks prior to discovery of the body."

Evidently rats like the soft, wet bits of the face -- the eyes and the lips.

Ew.